Okay. Am I really supposed to change my mind this fast? One moment I badly want things to end already; then another all I can see are rainbows and unicorns.
This is confusing and… confusing.
I don’t know where and when to settle. I thought this was better, than those moments when I couldn’t see the light no matter how hard I tried (I’m talking about those times when I couldn’t seem to have a break from being so down).
In retrospect, however, maybe this really is better. At least when I feel (relatively) elated, I am able to do the things humans ought to do. Like taking a bath, for example. And getting out of bed. And attending jobs, and school. And talking to other people. And eating.
It just… I don’t know, sucks? It sucks when you’re on that happy mood and then you just feel the sadness, the despair, from just around the corner, coming for your soul. You could feel that brief happiness being slowly and painfully sucked away from you. You know what I mean? And the worst part is, no matter how hard you try to at least save some of the happiness for you to survive the ‘long winter,’ so to speak, you feel it slipping from your hands, like sand.
I just read the whole thing again and I can’t help but laugh. Somehow I managed to forget the point of this post. Silly me.
Maybe all I want to say is that, life really is hard. It’s true for me, certainly. But because right now I’m seeing a murky light from under the water where I am stuck, I’m going to say that there is still hope for me; there’s still hope for us all.
Just hang on a little bit longer to your floaters.