Early Morning Musings

I slept this day (2am) thinking about many things, as with most of my pre-hibernation episodes (I don’t sleep. I hibernate.).
As always, I thought that sleep would finally give me something I couldn’t have in this world: peace.
And for a moment, my brain finally relented, and I was able to enjoy the few hours of sleep that I had.
When I woke up though, my thoughts came back. I’m pretty sure they were more excited than I was to hear my defeaning alarm.
I knew my time of peace ceased the moment I realized J was daydreaming. Because yes, I think most of my thoughts come in the form of daydreams.
I have this person in my mind (pretty sure that was me; or the better version of myself), living the life I couldn’t live. Being with people I couldn’t be with.
Do you have that kind of person on your mind, too?
Mos of the time I find myself watching (daydreaming) this person live their life, while neglecting the world I’m living in. This is where the problem arises.

Okay. I need to cut this rant off now. I have got to go to school.

I think I need help.

5:50am, Dec01’14


One thought on “Early Morning Musings

  1. Hey there! Did you get to school? I am proud that you could set the alarm (PLANNED to go to school!)!! Be proud of yourself, too! Did you go? How was your day?

    I daydream a lot – I dream myself into books, usually, meeting my favourite characters. I have always done this (and it got me a few remarks as I was getting older ….) as long as I can remember.
    Don’t think of the daydreaming as something you can never have. You will have that again. It probably doesn’t seem like that right now, it might be that you think that this is so far away and that the glass wall between you and others is so thick that it can never be broken again … but it will vanish as you get better. I promise.

    Getting your school done is a big step to living the life you want to live.

    I wish you a really good night and a couple of hours of sleep! I am so glad when I read that you could sleep. All the best!

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