Finding Purpose

It’s not happiness I am struggling to find, it’s purpose.

And I want that purpose to have a meaning.

I want to have a purpose in life that means something to me.

After days of moping around, not getting out of bed, not checking email (which I highly regret), ย not talking to any of my friends, and just watching Community and One Piece, I came up with this realization.

I don’t know if this realization made my life more complicated than it already was, but I think I’m near the point of not caring anymore. And, admittedly, it’s really scary to be in this place, because while I think I would lose nothing, I know it couldn’t be farther than the truth. If I ever go past the point of caring, I know that I would lose everything, including my life (or what’s left of it). I would lose my chance of getting back up again.

It would all be over.ย 

So while I’m still concerned about my well-being (especially my mental health), I want to be able to find my purpose in life. Hard as it may seem, only I could know what that purpose is.

Maybe with that meaningful purpose, I could defeat this depression (and by extension, anxiety).

I have to get by for now.

How exactly I am going to do that, I have no idea.

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7 thoughts on “Finding Purpose

  1. Don’t give up. Don’t let your self lay down and die. If you don’t get therapy already, start searching for help NOW. You’re not weak. But it’s important not. to.give. up. HUGS!

    • Oh, btw, I started crocheting! ๐Ÿ™‚ I know it’s different from knitting, but I know I’ll definitely get there. Too bad I don’t have much free time on my hands, though.
      Still, thank you for inspiring me to pursue doing crafts with yarn. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • You are doing yourself the world of good! There are a lot of studies out there showing that crafting (knitting or crocheting or doing something else) helps people with depression. Have tons of fun with that! Remember ravelry.com there is lots of advice and amazing free patterns!

        I crochet, too, sometimes. ๐Ÿ™‚

        All the best to you! If there’s anything I can write to make you feel a bit better, just drop me a line. ๐Ÿ™‚ notizbuchfragmente_at_web.de

  2. You’ve hit the nail on the head — the question we’re all trying to answer, what is our purpose? Well, I don’t know, but I think you’re on the right track in seeking it out… Some think the journey itself, not the ending, is the answer. Phew! A lot to think about! ๐Ÿ™‚

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