I sometimes wonder why, despite knowing what to do to get my life in order, I still haven’t moved a single muscle to do it.
I know I need to stop taking those pills, but I still end up misusing and abusing them.
I know that there’s nothing to worry about during the night, yet I keep waiting for the sun to rise before I’m finally going to sleep (but hey, I really don’t know what’s up with this recent issue).
I know I need to get ready for upcoming school year, but somehow, I still have those excape behaviors despite avoiding my work for six months now. This is actually my biggest problem at the moment. Because, if I don’t do well at school I still wouldn’t be able to graduate; and screw it, I already wasted a year off of my college life being depressed. I don’t want to have suicidal thoughts again just because I can’t take the pressure from school.
I know I need to consult a mental health professional. I’m doing nothing about it, and I don’t know why! I obviously need help from a professional, but somehow I delay going to one.
My mind is full of questions and pending tasks to do, but I don’t have the answers to these questions nor the motivation (is it motivation? I don’t freakin’ know) to do the tasks.