I realized just recently that I do and feel better when I’m with other people.
I’m doing better with the things I focus on, meaning being with others takes away my attention from my depression.
I even laugh with them sometimes. Imagine a real laugh coming out my mouth!
Most importantly, being with others prevents me from doing anything stupid. Like thinking about my problems (which may or may not really exist), and harming myself.
I can even go so far as to say that being with others is therapeutic; at least when I’m with the right kind of people.
But being the introvert that I am, I am most comfortable when I’m alone (does not equate to loneliness, just a note).
Being with others drains me of what little energy I have.
At the end of the day, I’m alone.
Being alone makes me contented (and quite happy) and sad at the same time.
I can be who I am when I’m by myself. I can take off my mask of happiness when I’m alone.
I can be somewhat contented and happy when I’m alone.
Ironically, I want to share that minute happiness with other people.
I don’t know what I need more; the need to be with people or the need to be alone.
It kind of amuses me, honestly. But it’s also frustrating me to no end.
It’s just one of those situations where I can’t have both.