After three freaking years of feeling like crap, I now managed to talk to a psychiatrist.
He’s a nice doctor, considering I still can’t meet him personally due to some constraints (assessment was done online. I was never more grateful for the internet). There’s still the professional tone in his way of talking to me. But it won’t make you feel less of a person (sometimes I’m intimidated by some health care professionals).
But I’m still wondering what to do next. It’s painfully obvious that the logical thing to do next is to undergo treatment (which the doctor recommended).
Not that I don’t want to be subjected to treatment; I’m just ambivalent toward it.