To start this all, I would like to say that what I am about to tell you truly comes from my heart, no matter how out-of-character I might seem to be writing this letter.
Firstly, I would like to apologize for all the wrongdoings that I have done. I know I have hurt You; people say so. Especially when my faith in You faltered that I became so close to not believing in You, not believing in Your existence. Please try to understand that Your very existence has long been a question that I guess would never be answered. There will always be people who will believe in You and people who will not. I know I am a lucky person for having been introduced to your doctrines since childhood. It’s just that, it’s only now I learn that not all people who hold, read, and preach the Bible really take Your word to their hearts.
I don’t know what the point of the last paragraph is anymore, Lord. But I really really want to apologize for being weak-spirited for letting my faith in You dwindle greatly. I don’t promise to be faithful to you always, but Lord God, please know that I will try my best to be.
I would also like to beg Your pardon for other things that I have done to You, to other people, and to myself. I may not remember them all, but I’d like you to know that I’m always trying my best to avoid doing the wrong things and do good. However unbelievable that may seem.
With my sincerest apologies made known, I would now like to thank You, Dear God.
I would like to thank You most of all for giving me all the things and people I need to be a sane human being. My family (and by extension, my friends) is what’s keeping me grounded with all the things going on in my life. Without them, I would not have been the person I am today, no matter how hideous I am. Thank You for letting them love me, and for letting me love them in return.
I would also like to thank You for not giving up on me, even when it seemed that I lost faith in You (no amount of apologies could express how sorry I am). This would be the greatest thing You could ever give to me and to anyone, really: Your faith in them. Even when they’re not worthy of it.
But most of all, I would like to thank You for giving me life. And for letting me live. You may have Your reasons, and I may or may not ever know of them, but I still want to thank You. Even if sometimes I feel like giving up on my life, You didn’t, and I think that’s more than what I could hope for.
They say You grant people’s prayers. Some of my prayers may not have been answered, and I guess to be honest that hurt me. You have your reasons, as what I already gathered. And I guess I don’t have the right to question Your plans.
But I do really pray that You give my loved ones life that would surpass mine. That’s my ultimate wish. That, and they live with good health, happiness, and contentment in their hearts. There’s noting more that I want aside from that. So please, dear God, just grant me this prayer.
Also, please help me in opening my heart, mind, and soul, so that I’ll be able to expand my faith in You, to be able to understand You more, and to be able to live by Your word.
I don’t know how to end this prayer, but I do hope you hear this one prayer by a wayward servant.
In Christ’s name,